2016 Kansas City Trashboat Regatta

23 06 2016

The Regatta returns for another rubbish-raft river float of soggy, boggy adventure on August 7, 2016.  Following back-to-back with Singlespeed KC 2016, brace yourself for a weekend of lo-budget dirtball good times.

Meet us at Kaw Point at 1:00 p.m. for launch. Landing at Riverfront Park in the East Bottoms around 3:00-ish.

Expect the usual – Prizes.  Lots of prizes, many of them terrible.  Food.  Drink.  Irreverent attitudes toward good taste.  No bagpipes.  Bragging rights.  Strange things floating in the water.

Be there or be tuna-shaped!

What Can You Do To Help

14 07 2014

Greetings and sailutations, trashbuddies. Dread Pirate Meetzorp here, thrilled to the gills with all of the awesome boats, boaters and spectators who made it out to the Regatta yesterday. Warms the cockles of my cockles to see so many people up for a cheap-n-muddy good time.

Rightio, so I will be coming back again-again later to do a massive photo post, but right now I want to answer the question I got asked the most times yesterday: “How can I help further this awesome event?”

The biggest thing anyone can do to promote the Regatta is to participate. The Trashboat Regatta is a low-budget, low-tech, low-glitz, high-fun event. If we’re to keep it dirty, free, and punky, what we need is more boats and more pirates.

If you, yourself aren’t up to building a boat or sailing on a crew, surely you know somebody who is. Your whacky niece who furnished her entire apartment via dumpster-diving. Your dirtbag neighbor who built a smoker out of a wrecked Chevette for his annual deer-jerky extravaganza. Your old shop teacher who now hosts highschool robotics competitions. You know somebody who scavenges, who repurposes, who builds weird stuff for fun. Tell them about what we have going on. Encourage them to get their feet muddy and earn up some big, fat bragging rights.

The Trashboat Regatta is, in its very essence, a slightly-grungy niche hobby. Slick advertising campaigns aren’t likely to bring out too many more trash-rats, but gentle persuasion in the right places, will coax more of our kind out of their dumpsters and on to their rightful river-borne glory.

So, if you want to help the Kansas City Trashboat Regatta continue to be a free, slightly-chaotic, damp, artistic, vaguely-malodorous, and generally hoopy event, just spread the word, word-of-mouth. You know us, and you know more people like us. I think that together, we can maintain an organic evolution for our non-biodegradable event. Keep you eye on this site and on our Facebook group. All the goods that are good to go will be here and there.

Thanks again to everyone who came out to play on Saturday. If you hadn’t put so much work into building your boats and having a good time, there wouldn’t be any Trashboat Regatta.

Huge big love,


Free Seas Boat Launch

29 03 2014

Our friends at The Free Seas testing out their paper boat on the open waters!    “Le Massicot” was created during their residency at the antique boat museum.

Junk Raft across the Atlantic

22 09 2012

Check out this most inspiring documentary on the late great Poppa Neutrino the first man to sail the Atlantic on a home made junk raft! He was a musician, junk boat builder and “free spirit” who lived his life outside of expected norms. Who was called a modern primitive, a nomad, a permanent dropout, raftbuilder and musician. He was truly an aristocrat of our time.

Random Lunacy:



Poppa Neutrino’s raft “The Son of Town Hall”


Photo of Poppa Neutrino

Check out Columbia, SC’s “REcycled Regatta”

27 05 2011

Similar, but official-er. Recycled Regatta.

Related: How to make your own Regatta craft.

For those new to this kind of wheeze, this page may shed some light on the task ahead of you.

Elegant pontoon-bike inspiration from China

21 05 2011

Check out this awesome pontoon bike from China. It looks much lighter and more maneuverable than the pontoon bikes Joel and I had a couple of years ago, yet it floats beautifully well.

This is a truly amphibious bicycle and it looks like it would not be at all difficult to build one.

There are more detailed pictures here.


18 05 2011

Regatta 4.5, The Ship-Reckoning will take place on:

September 22, 2012 @ 3:00 p.m.


(starting point – 1717 W. 9th Street

If you missed the Regatta in July, now’s your chance to have another go.  Anoint yourself with the finest Missouri mud, partake of adventure on the not-high-seas, and be the captain of your own DESTINY!

What will happen, with any luck, is that a bunch of people will build trashboats, and we’ll put in at Kaw Point, pull out at Glow In The Dark Park, and then throw down on a dirtbag potluck picnic.  There may be prizez, it really depends on how bounteous the local dumpsters are between now and then.  Brace yourself, is all I’m saying.

If you have any questions as to what a Trashboat looks like, I suggest that you go and check out Chunk 666’s Aquachopper adventures for elucidation and inspiration. Chicago’s illustrious Rat Patrol’s trashboats were another inspiration for the upcoming festivities. Basically, a trashboat is any bicycle powered or bicycle-towed “boat.” Preferably it doesn’t sink or break apart under its own ill-considered engineering. Buckets, bottles, and barrels are the most common pontoons, though you can make a trashboat out of just about anything, so long as it floats and can either be ridden or towed to the launch site. If your trashboat is a trailer, you need to consider how to secure your bike to it so that you can tow it back home after the party.

The rules are:

* You cannot spend more than $100 on materials. Ideally, most of your creation should be made out of re-used refuse.
*You MUST have a life-vest
* Pack out everything you packed in…please try to build something that won’t fall apart in the water and leave rubbish all over in the river.
* human or wind power only….no motors, no matter how nifty. Pedal-powered-paddlewheels, oars, or sails are the way to go
*You need to be able to ride it to or tow it by bike to the launch and ride/tow it back from the end point
*No drinking beforehand – after the Regatta you can get as liquored-up as you want (heck, you’re encouraged to), but let’s not make an already foolish and risky activity into a potentially deadly one.
* The standard FT disclaimer applies: somebody’s bike will break, somebody will get hurt, no whining.

We’re shamelessly inspired by and ripping off two of the most illustrious groups of frankenbike builders in the Country: ChVnk666 and the Rat Patrol. The world needs more mad tinkerers and completely ridiculous bicycles in it. We here in KC should pitch in and help make the world a weirder place. You should check out the other exploits of both Chunk666 and the Rat Patrol from their main websites.

Stay tuned, because this should prove entertaining for all.

The voices command you

17 05 2011

To check out the original Rat Patrol Trashboats. These folks and their boats are some of the inspirations behind the smelly, damp, slightly dangerous event looming before you.