River Punk’s Boat Building ‘Zine

2 05 2014

The Trashboat Regatta’s boat building zine is now available around KC! If you wish to have a copy and cannot get a hold of one at the Vacant Farm zine library then email Jaclyn for an issue.

photo 4

Click to enlarge. You know the drill. You’ve had an internet before, right?



Get Ready This July

30 03 2014

July 12, 2014 is the date of the Sixth-and-a-half Annual Trash Boat Regatta! The air is getting warmer and soon it’ll be time to drink up those waters and show ’em what we are made of! Keep an eye out for an upcoming trash boat building class as a part of KC Free Skool in May.


Urban Water Squatter’s Crest

21 06 2013


What you need to know about the 2013 Trashboat Regatta:

14 06 2013

2013 TB Flyer

(poster credit – Jaclyn Dalbey)

IMPORTANT. Like actually and seriously.

This year’s Regatta will meet directly at Kaw Point. We shall meet on Saturday 6-29-13, because nobody else came up with a better date. We’ll convene at 3:00 p.m. and hope to launch by 3:30-ish.

As always, boats are encouraged to be either amphibious or bike-towed, but it’s totally understandable if the weight of awesomeness in your craft requires a motor vehicle to get it to and from the launch. If you do drive, it’s up to you to arrange for a recovery vehicle at Glow In The Dark Park.

Again, as always, you MUST wear a life jacket. Ideally, one which could actually support your weight if you do tip into the drink. But, as we consider this a voluntary-participation event, if you do choose to wear insufficient life safety equipment and suffer dire consequences because of it, you can’t say you weren’t warned!

As is traditional, drinking PRIOR to launch is prohibited.  This and the lifejacket thing are literally the only things I consider non-negotiable.  I don’t care how shitfaced you get at the end of the float – in fact, I heartily encourage liberal consumption of grog at the after party, but please, please, please, do not sail drunk.

Well, I think that’s about it. If anyone has any questions or comments (even if they are snarky or silly) feel free to fire ’em off below.


Dread Pirate Meetzorp.

Recap! Fall Regatta 2012

22 09 2012

The fall Regatta went off without a hitch! Lots of brave souls turned out the sail the chilly waters of the Missouri on this September afternoon. We saw improvements made to previous boats and  some new faces ready for adventure! As the Regatta crew set into Kaw Point we were meet with a local news station camera team ready and eager to meet crazy water lover Dave Cornthwaite who at the same time was swimming up out of the Missouri. This bad boy of the sea is currently near the end of his journey on a 1,000 mile swim on the Missouri. Starting in South Dakota and ending in St. Louis he is planning on raising $150,000 for cancer research. Find out more about this fella here.



Dave Cornth

6a00d83453140969e2017ee3fb1cac970d5 And his other expeditions-

(Text, images credit Jaclyn Dalbey)


We are not, I repeat NOT going on the River

13 07 2011

The Regatta is still on for the 24th, fear not.

But natural phenomenona being what they are (unpredictable and uncontrollable) means that sometimes we have to make alternate arrangements.

I’ve found a GREAT alternative venue for the Regatta.  The nature of the event will change a bit…it’s not going to be a race so much as a contest, with various games and stunts to gain points.  There will be activities for the non-boating participants (i.e. spectators) as well.

We’ll still meet at Korruption at 11:00 a.m. on 7-24-2011.  I highly encourage all comers to pack a picnic lunch and bring some beverages of your choice.   Towing-and-rowing are hungry work.  I’ll bring some snacks, as well, and we should all have a real good time.

Any questions?  Ask away.

New Date – 7-24-211

19 06 2011

Totally Important Announcement:

The river is up. Hells of up. Way the hell up. Like crazy-go-nuts high. The boat-ramp is completely submerged, and the Kansas river is backed up to the point where it’s barely even flowing.

So, this means that the Regatta is going to be postponed. The Missouri is expected to crest this Thursday (6-23-2011) so we’re going to give the river a month to settle its shit down.

Hope to see y’all out there on 7-24-2011.

Getcher Course Map here!

10 06 2011

View Bicycle Spectator Course Map in a larger map

or here

The blue lines represent the general route from meetup point to launch point.

The pink lines mark the spectator route for cyclists.

Feel free to pass the map around to any interested parties!



9 06 2011

So…as hard as it is to believe, there are some people who just don’t feel comfortable floating down the Missouri river on a raft made of trash. Search me. Sounds like a mighty large time, if you ask me.

But the fact remains that there are people who aren’t into actually sailing a trashboat, but do love trashboats all the same. For those people who want to participate without actually getting trashy, there are options.

1. There will be a bike ride that parallels the river. So, air up your old Schwinn and meet up with us at Korruption. There will be various spectating points along the way, and you’ll get to the finish just ahead of the regatta for a royal view of the majestic craft landing at Glow In The Dark Park.

2. You could always get on the river on a boat not made of trash. Canoes, kayaks, rowboats, or rafts are all welcome, appropriate, and fun. Kayaks are really the best, as you can easily paddle back and forth amongst the participants and personally check out how everyone’s faring.

3. If you’re driving down to Glow In The Dark Park, either as a return vehicle for your canoe/kayak/trashboat, or because you’re not feeling like biking in what will probably be 90F+ heat, think about bringing coolers of ice/water/etc. We pirates are going to try to bring some of our own grog and hardtack for the crew; the more we share, the more we….something.

If you have any questions about how to get there or whatever else, hit the comment button.

Hope to see many smilin’ faces out there.


18 05 2011

Regatta 4.5, The Ship-Reckoning will take place on:

September 22, 2012 @ 3:00 p.m.


(starting point – 1717 W. 9th Street

If you missed the Regatta in July, now’s your chance to have another go.  Anoint yourself with the finest Missouri mud, partake of adventure on the not-high-seas, and be the captain of your own DESTINY!

What will happen, with any luck, is that a bunch of people will build trashboats, and we’ll put in at Kaw Point, pull out at Glow In The Dark Park, and then throw down on a dirtbag potluck picnic.  There may be prizez, it really depends on how bounteous the local dumpsters are between now and then.  Brace yourself, is all I’m saying.

If you have any questions as to what a Trashboat looks like, I suggest that you go and check out Chunk 666’s Aquachopper adventures for elucidation and inspiration. Chicago’s illustrious Rat Patrol’s trashboats were another inspiration for the upcoming festivities. Basically, a trashboat is any bicycle powered or bicycle-towed “boat.” Preferably it doesn’t sink or break apart under its own ill-considered engineering. Buckets, bottles, and barrels are the most common pontoons, though you can make a trashboat out of just about anything, so long as it floats and can either be ridden or towed to the launch site. If your trashboat is a trailer, you need to consider how to secure your bike to it so that you can tow it back home after the party.

The rules are:

* You cannot spend more than $100 on materials. Ideally, most of your creation should be made out of re-used refuse.
*You MUST have a life-vest
* Pack out everything you packed in…please try to build something that won’t fall apart in the water and leave rubbish all over in the river.
* human or wind power only….no motors, no matter how nifty. Pedal-powered-paddlewheels, oars, or sails are the way to go
*You need to be able to ride it to or tow it by bike to the launch and ride/tow it back from the end point
*No drinking beforehand – after the Regatta you can get as liquored-up as you want (heck, you’re encouraged to), but let’s not make an already foolish and risky activity into a potentially deadly one.
* The standard FT disclaimer applies: somebody’s bike will break, somebody will get hurt, no whining.

We’re shamelessly inspired by and ripping off two of the most illustrious groups of frankenbike builders in the Country: ChVnk666 and the Rat Patrol. The world needs more mad tinkerers and completely ridiculous bicycles in it. We here in KC should pitch in and help make the world a weirder place. You should check out the other exploits of both Chunk666 and the Rat Patrol from their main websites.

Stay tuned, because this should prove entertaining for all.